The basics

The last few days I'm thinking a lot about my first days in London. I arrived with a large and a small suitcase, my laptop and my Nikon camera bag. I was only thinking how to succeed and make it alright. I was only thinking how to prove wrong people back home that didn't believe that I'll make it. I was living in a small room. I bought a pan, a pot, a plate, a glass, a knife, a fork and a spoon. All could fit in a small bag. I was drinking McCafe or Starbucks in best occasion. I spent my last five pounds to buy a pair of brown shoes from Primark to attend some awards in Reuters building, since my friend who invited me there told me to avoid wearing sports shoes, which was the only pair I had brought with me from Greece.I experienced the ultimate poverty for a couple of weeks. Zero money in my pocket. I was happy though. And I was happy because I was free from material things, I think. I was happy cause the people I met at work treat me like real friends. They invited me to nice parties.

I met the most beautiful girl I have seen in my life and she has also been through the same ultimate poverty. In her own words, she was eating peanut butter and bread for a couple of weeks. We create something beautiful together. We managed to survive. We stayed under the same roof. We escape the poverty. We did things that alive people do. We share experiences. 

The we became I again. I was full of grief and sadness and bad thoughts about myself. I had to escape from this. I lost the extra weight I had. I'm losing more. I went to a better job that fills me up as a chef. I started studying what I was always dreaming to study. I escaped. I feel a bit better now. I still miss her. I miss sharing all this memes, I miss her sleeping in my shoulder in the bus and fill my jacket with her make up. I miss her coming on my side of the table, sitting on my legs, filling each other faces and necks with kisses. I miss her showing me her beautiful drawings. I miss her filling my room with her beautiful golden hair. I miss her listening to my stupid complaints about tiny little things. I miss her laughter and her voice. I miss telling her "shoes" and I miss her telling me "milk". I'm probably wrong, but I still don't think that anyone can replace her, ever. 

Anyway, I'm now a bit better as I said, but still not happy. I have some happy moments, I have tough times from working and studying, so many hours. I'm getting rid of material stuff all these months. I'm meeting friends and new people. I felt being desired again. I felt people looking for my company. I wanna be happy like back in these days. It's still a long way, but I'm walking it. I'll make it. I have to go back to the basics to find out who am I again.