2023

I have this good friend, who always says that books are nothing and doing things instead of reading about them is better. I was always arguing with him that books are important, before actions. As I learnt, while studying Sociology though, the truth is always somewhere in the middle. For every event that is happening, different actors will testify their own views on it. Views that are based heavily in factors like, the place and the time they were brought up, their belief systems, their religion, their political views, their habits and hobbies, the things they love, rumours they heard or read, a bit of fantasy, forgetfulness or exaggeration and a bit of lies occasionally. 

Observing myself for a while, the year that passed, I realised that I'm good in theory, but not equally good at action. While, I absolutely knew which the path was, in order to achieve excellent results, didn't always follow it. That caused delays, average results, exhaustion and sometimes self disappointment. Some friends told me that I achieved a lot. I never told them, but I always replied to myself, that I achieved a lot, but not as much as I could. I know I am just a human, but human nature can be altered for the better, if you can eliminate flaws and embrace virtues. Achieving this and take some more action are my targets for the year that just begun. As Brandon Flowers of The Killers sung "Rise up like the sun, labor 'till the work is done". 

In 2022, I know I was hard to be reached by most of my friends, I take the blame for it, I apologise and I promise I will work to improve. 

I miss the sea. I only spent a few hours next to it. To float in the sea the temperature of blood, to rephrase Douglas Coupland, is what I wish the most in 2023. And I will achieve this too.

I would like to wish to everyone who reads this, a great 2023. Always remember that there is no obstacle that can not be overridden on what you want to achieve, except yourself  and people who "can't tell the good from evil" as described from my dead Philosopher-Emperor. To them you can either use his words "None of you can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness." or use the wise words of the greatest football player of all time "¿Que mirá, Bobo? ¡Andá payá!" 

Book

I will write a book. It will be titled "Why you should stop benefiting ungrateful cunts".

All good here!

Everything is going really good here. First of all, I'm healthy. Being fully vaccinated and negative in COVID tests for so long. Then I am working full time in jobs that I love so much. After a long time, I got a good amount of money saved and I'm looking forward to accomplish my plans for 2022. I'm telling you, it's going to be a great year! Work hard, take small steps, be patient, be consistent.

Back to the light

It's been a long time that I was wondering what went wrong. I was blaming myself for everything bad that have happened to me making me sad and feeling guilty. I was self-isolating, refusing to meet people and it didn't have to do with the lockdowns or the virus. I kept my mask of fake happiness held up at almost all times.

On the background though, I've spent a lot of time trying to find out answers on everything. Then one day I remembered Epictetus' quote "Devote the rest of your life to making progress". I thought about it. Nothing can stop me from progressing in everything, except myself. All is needed is hard work, commitment and consistency. It can be something trivial, but it's still a progress. Each lesson of Spanish I make everyday, teach me a language. Each extra lift of weights, makes my body stronger. Each page I read, teach me something new. Each place I visit, gives me an experience. Each material thing in my home that I get rid of or replace makes my life easier. 

On the other hand I realised how much time, than won't come back, I've spent for absolutely nonsense. Like the time I spent to spy (I feel ashamed about it now) people that rejected me as a person. Like the time I've spent with people that the only thing they offered me in the end, was the lesson of not dealing with people that are shallow and they live their "no future" phase of their lives, with zero purposes and zero capability to built strong, honest friendships. What is the point of being surrounded by pleasant people, when they won't be there to support you in hard times? Or when they just spent their free time with you, when they don't have an alternative option? Or when they call you "brother" and "love" but in reality they don't even invite you for a coffee, ever.  But I really thank you for the lesson, I honestly wish good luck to you and I hope our lives will never meet again, under any circumstances.

I got absolutely tired of dealing with people that they will remember me only when the need is calling. I moved a step forward on this though. I don't deal with them anymore. I communicate with my friends to learn their news. I try to avoid communicate with people that they are messaging me only for their shit. Mate, you got a problem? Google it! I'm not your problem solutioner. I haven't solve my problems more or less. Fuck off, really!

Anyway, I have learned to deal with everything that comes without asking help from anyone. Never again. If I made it getting over alive from all this depression, caused by the runaway of two special people that came in my life and gone forever, I can get over anything, except death of course. I read what I wrote in the past few months here and I'm definitely a different, better person now.

The last few days, I caught myself laughing loud from reading things on social media, I caught myself getting dressed nicely (I even iron clothes and polish my shoes, which happens...never), I caught myself walking in the street gracefully, smiling at other people. 

Mr. Coupland, now I know where to start when I want to start my life again. I take a rest, look inside me and begin again. I say "never mind" to any steps taken back and I keep on progressing. 

I'm back to the light for good, motherfuckers! :-)

Data

It's all about data. For anything. Want to have a lot of money? Want to lose weight? Keep your data. It's so easy after to progress. Doing this for a while. In much better condition on all aspects, already.

Ough

I couldn't sleep last night. My brain was like playing trivial pursuit. I already made so many mistakes today at work. "What's wrong with you?" as David would say. Come on, man. Keep your shit together.

Douglas

 "So where do you start when you want to start your life again?" wrote Douglas Coupland. I wondered about it. I really need to start anew.

Well, I made a coffee. I put some music. I cleaned up my laptop. I cleared my table. I emptied my closet. Chose the clothes I needed. Wrote down what I need. And this is the surface of my wondering, but it is essential. When you have order around you, order will come to your brain. And you will think more logically. No more daydreaming, no more possible life scenarios in my mind. Things are, as they are. Now, I got to think what is needed to move on. And start living again.
 
Organisation, order and consistency are the keys. Organisation of my time and money. The two valuable resources. Organisation leads to order. Consistency will keep me going, when the days of laziness or depression will return. It's the time that I got to be strong and keep doing what I have to do. Like an automatic pilot in a plane. I got to keep flying. 

Then, as you know a human is soul, body and mind. All of them are sick on me. Got to heal them. Philosophy and journaling for my soul. Exercise that will get more and more intense as time goes by. Read and watch useful stuff and investigating interesting stuff for the mind. 

I got much more resources than many. It's important, in my view, to start from zero though. You add up the experience you gain all these years and you protect yourself from all the bad situations. A lesson from the past is that if I'm consistent for a certain time, I can achieve a lot. Lost weight, saved money, lived happy. So I have the guide of how to achieve everything. As U2 said in Sarajevo "Fuck the past, kiss the future."